Confessions of a broken teenager.

It's been one of those days.
Usually I can hold off feeling TOO crappy with distractions, and I can manage to put on that fake smile and pretend I'm OK. But today has been one of those really bad days.
I knew it was coming. I could feel it building up all week, and I know it hasn't reached its worst point yet... I woke up this morning and there wasn't even a second of calm before I'd woken up properly. As soon as I stirred I felt...
But I got ready for school anyway, determined not to let it keep me down again (I haven't been able to make myself go to school for two weeks) and although my mind made me rather sick, I went anyway, but with so big a struggle going on in my head my mum noticed that something was up. I told her I was tired and tried not to speak after that, for fear I'd tell her I was sick and had to stay home.
I got to school right on time, which I was thankful for (no time to think) and immediately tried to distract myself with my schoolwork, but it wasn't working. I was feeling so sick. So dead. By the time recess came I had to run to the toilets. I was violently ill.
I spent the rest of recess trying to get rid of that cry-y look.
Period 3 and 4 I had art- usually something that easily takes me into another world, but that didn't work either. I couldn't do anything. My hands were shaking. I spent the hour and a half with my head on the desk, eyes closed, fighting the urge to scream and cry and throw things.
As soon as lunch came, I left. I couldn't stay for my afternoon classes.
Now I'm home.
I did what I had to do, and I slept, and I cried, and now I'm kind of numb.
I did my homework and now I'm lying here, and I don't know what to do next. I'm so scared of what tomorrow will bring. I'm staring at the clock, wishing it would stop and night would never come. When I sleep, a new day begins and I somehow have to survive it. But the clock seems to be moving extra fast. An hour has passed in seconds, and I've just been lying here...